Two Become One

Two becoming one - this is what we teach and strive for. But, oddly, this doesn't happen completely naturally. We are candidates for Godhood but we're a long ways away. In the meantime we must learn to override instinct. This will be a lifelong struggle for most of us and is especially evident in marriage. Every person is born with the tendency to look after themselves primarily. We have certain expectations brought on by our experience and self interest that we bring into a marriage with us. This wouldn't be so bad except that there are two of us with different experiences and expectations trying to become one. We need to define our expectations for our spouse and discover what is just petty (The proper way to fold shirts) and what is really important (How to discipline children). It also might be wise to remind yourself about what you love about your spouse so you don't begin to only see things that bother you. A person is much more likely to serve if they feel appreciated. So, wives, rather than criticizing the way your husband folds shirts, thank him for folding the laundry and helping to keep the home up and running. And, husbands, rather than be annoyed that your wife doesn't make lasagna like your mother did, be thankful that she cares enough about you to make you food. Diminish the importance of your unmet expectations and recognize, instead, the ways your spouse performs above your wildest dreams. Even after children, it's important that you continue to learn about each other. But to feel love is not enough, it must be expressed. Your spouse must know that they are appreciated and that their sacrifice does not go unnoticed. This is what makes for eternal happiness - it's not having all your expectations met to your short-sided specification. Elder Richard G. Scott touched on this in one of his conference talks and it has since been adapted to this video. Enjoy!